A Story floating around the Net
I think this story summerizes Libertarianism. Those of us living in Cincinnati can certainly relate; that is why Northern Kentucky is moving ahead and we are stuck with an underdeveloped riverfront and a bunch of old, unkept buildings in our urban core.
Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse in 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. What you saw last week in New Orleans was just a sample. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He Gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard But there was no Ark. "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passageway for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they couldn't find anything in the regulations to cover that.
"Getting the wood was another problem There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls -- but no go!
"When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by PETA. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
"Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your Proposed flood.
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
"Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.
"The trade unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with a cargo of endangered species.
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it looks like it would take at least ten years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean You're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord, "looks like the government has already beaten me to it."
Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse in 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. What you saw last week in New Orleans was just a sample. Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He Gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard But there was no Ark. "Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passageway for the Ark's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they couldn't find anything in the regulations to cover that.
"Getting the wood was another problem There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls -- but no go!
"When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by PETA. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
"Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your Proposed flood.
"I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
"Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.
"The trade unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
"To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with a cargo of endangered species.
"So, forgive me, Lord, but it looks like it would take at least ten years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean You're not going to destroy the world?"
"No," said the Lord, "looks like the government has already beaten me to it."
posted by CincinnatiLibertarian at 1:12 PM
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